If Lincoln Had Used a Computer.
如果林肯使用过计算机……
1. The ad for a software program caught my eye. It said, "Write better in 30 days or your money back."
1、有一则计算机软件的广告引起了我的注意。它说：“要是30天之内不能提高你的写作能力，就将原款退还。”
2. I'm familiar with computer programs that correct spelling through the use of built-in dictionaries. But the ad for this program said that it would correct "stylistic errors".
2、我熟悉那些通过使用内建字典来纠正拼写错误的计算机程序。但是，这则软件广告却说，它能纠正“文体错误”。
3. Style. That's a big part of what writing is about. So I stopped by the computer store to give it a test run. I wanted to see what the program would say about one of my favorite pieces of writing.
3、文体对于写作关系可是很重大的。因此，我在那家计算机商店停下来，准备试一试这个程序。我想看一看它会对我所喜爱的一篇文章说些什么。
4. I typed it into the computer. Then the computer printed out a critique. Here it is:
4、我把文章输进了计算机。接着，计算机屏幕上显示出了一段评语。下文便是：
5. Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. [Long sentences can be difficult to read and understand. Consider revising so that no more than one complete thought is expressed in each sentence. Passive voice: "are created." Consider using active. Usually a paragraph should have more than one sentence.]
5、87年前，我们的先辈在这个大陆上缔造了一个新国家。她以自由为立国之本，坚决奉行所有的人生来平等的原则。
6. Now we are engaged [Passive voice: "are engaged." Consider using active. See "Help" key for more information.] in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met [Passive voice: "are met." Consider using active.] on a great battle field of that war. We have come to dedicated a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that [Delete doubled word.] nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
6、目前我们正在进行一场伟大的内战，这场战争正考验我国，或者任何在自由中诞生并奉行上述原则的国家能否永存。我们在这场伟大战争的战场上聚会。把这战场之一角奉献给那些为国家生存而捐躯的人们，作为他们的最后安息之地。我们完全应该这样做。
7. But, [Use "But" sparingly to start a sentence.] in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note nor long remember [An adjective "long" is usually not followed by a verb "remember." You may need to use an adverbial form of "long" or a comma before "remember. "] what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the living, rather [This word usually adds little and should be omitted.] to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which ["That" is almost always preferred in this situation. If you really mean "which," then it usually needs to be preceded by a comma, See "Help" key for more information.] they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather [This word usually adds little and should be omitted.] for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us: that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion; that we here highly revolve that these dead [Usually "these" should be followed by a plural noun.] shall not have died in vain; that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
7、但是从更广泛的意义上来说，我们无权把这块土地奉献给他们，也无力神圣化这片土地。那些活着的和死去的，曾在这里战斗过的英雄，才使这片土地成为神圣之地，而非我们的微薄之力所能增减。世人不会注意也不会长久记得我们今天在这里说了些什么，但是勇士们在这里做过的事将永远不会被忘记。倒是我们这些活着的人，应该继续英雄们为之战斗并使之前进的未竟事业。我们应该要更加忠诚于先烈为之牺牲的事业，为摆在我们面前的伟大任务继续献身；我们在这里下定决心不能让他们的鲜血白流；这个国家，在上帝的保佑下将获得自由的新生。这个民有、民治、民享的政府将与世长存。
8. That's something. As often as I've read this speech, getting a lump in my throat every time. I've never detected one stylistic problem, much less 13. Shows how little I know.
8、真是奇迹!每当我阅读这篇演讲词的时候，总感觉心情激动，如鲠在喉。我却从未发现过它有一处文体错误，更不用说它有13处错误了。这表明我的知识何等贫乏啊!
9. But I suppose we really shouldn't expect anything better from someone who grew up in a log cabin, hoofed to a oneroom Schoolhouse and never made it to college.
9、但是，我们不应该苛求一个在小木屋里长大，徒步到那所只有一间屋子的学校上学，后来也没有上成大学的人，他也不可能把话讲得再好了。
10. We might remember, though, that Abe Lincoln was at a stylistic disadvantage when he wrote his Gettysburg Address. The poor guy didn't have a "Help" key to push.
10、然而，我们也许应当记住：亚伯·林肯写葛底斯堡演讲稿时，他实在没有很好的条件来讲求文体修辞。可怜的家伙那时并没有计算机上的“求助”键可使用。（本篇原文中括号内的斜体字因文字浅显，故不加译文。——编者）
